I married my dear husband, Carl, last year. At 56 years old, this was my first marriage.
For most of my adult life, I struggled finding a soul mate. I was blessed with great friends, professional success, good health, and a beautiful home. While I appreciated all the gifts in my life, I missed the love and companionship of someone special.
I knew why I struggled. My father died suddenly in an accident I witnessed when I was eleven years old. I understood the effects of this tragedy. My underlying fear of abandonment kept me drawn to men who were as emotionally unavailable as I was.
I spent many years in therapy, dealing with issues of unresolved grief and loss. As I released the pain from my past, I became more relaxed and confident. While therapy helped tremendously, it wasn’t until I deliberately practiced clutter clearing that dramatic changes happened.
I began the process without focusing on how clutter clearing could help me in relationships. I simply wanted to live more lightly and release what no longer served me.
From sages to scientists it’s been said that the Universe abhors a vacuum. For clutter clearing purposes this means that the Universe naturally fills empty space with new experiences consistent with your intentions.
I became obsessed with the process! I devoted many weekends sorting through everything. I donated, recycled or threw away stuff, stuff and more stuff!
One day the thought entered my mind:
“This is the key to finding my soul mate.”
I was on a mission!
I now began looking at all my mementos with a discerning eye. Even though I understood the power of clutter clearing, I still hadn’t taken it to this deeper level.
Here’s what I did:
I wrote in journals for years. Most were filled with pages and pages of pain about yet another failed relationship. Even though I no longer felt the pain inside me as I had in the past, the energy of that pain remained as long as I kept those journals. It was almost as if my pain were an old friend, still living with me embedded in those pages. To have a healthy relationship, I knew I needed to completely release that pain.
I burned the journals in my fireplace.
My first relationship, in my early twenties, lasted about four years. I hadn’t yet started my journey of self-discovery and felt depressed most of the time. I couldn’t connect on a deep level to this person who loved me very much.
I had saved dozens of letters he sent me. I read through each letter thoughtfully. These letters reminded me of a time in my life when I didn’t like how I felt about myself. I needed to release the negative energy that remained with me through those letters.
I burned the letters in my fireplace.
Something amazing then happened. Within weeks of burning those letters, my former boyfriend contacted me after fifteen years! He had married, recently divorced and wanted to see me. I decided against getting together because I didn’t want to revisit that time of my life. His reappearance gave me an opportunity to continue my commitment to move forward.
One of the profound effects of clutter clearing is that as you release things associated with people in your life, energetically they also experience a shift in their consciousness. Understand this phenomenon as the Universe giving you another opportunity for personal growth.
In my later adult years I fell in love with a writer. This man was very important to me but could not offer the commitment I so desired. The relationship lasted several years until I finally mustered the resolve to end it.
I burned his books in my fireplace.
Release With Love
I cleared from my life these journals, letters and books respectfully. The process was neither hurried nor haphazard. I took time to read through the material and honored each object.
I planned specific times to light my fireplace. I added these papers to transform them from matter to invisible energy. While I’m not suggesting you follow my exact process, I am suggesting you release significant objects from your life with love and honor for who you were at the time and for the people involved.
Two months later…
On the way to work I normally stopped at Starbucks before my 8:00am appointment. One morning I waited a long time in a slow moving line for my coffee. Worried I’d keep my client waiting, I left. The next morning I’m back at Starbucks at the end of another long line. I noticed the man in front of me also was there the day before. I said, “Hey, you were in the same spot the same time yesterday.”
That was it.
We were together for eight years before marrying last fall.
My invitation to you:
To release excess weight preventing you from enjoying the life you want, commit to releasing items from your life that no longer reflect the person you want to be. As you lighten your life on the outside, you’ll feel lighter on the inside. This lighter feeling intuitively guides you to make choices that support having a lighter body as well.
Begin the process by devoting one weekend afternoon to clutter clearing. Or perhaps two to three weekend afternoons in a row. Make this time sacred and stick with it. You may notice that once you start, the process takes on a life of its own and you feel compelled to spend hours clearing clutter.
As you release clutter from your life be sure to set the intention to live more lightly in your mind, body and spirit. Then watch the magic happen.
What will you release today to lighten your life?